I sat down with a friend recently to talk through some tension in her role on our team. This friend was processing the fact that there are parts of her role that she once really enjoyed that now seem to take a lot of emotional energy. Things that once energized her now demotivate her.
The truth is I have this conversation fairly often with leaders and volunteers. We live in a culture that is bent towards listening to feelings as a main indicator of what they should or should not do. (Click to tweet) Our feelings have a natural ebb and flow which means every now and again we hear our feelings say “I don’t enjoy doing this anymore.”
How do you manage your feelings? What goes through your mind when the new car smell goes away? More than ever before, people allow feelings to be a primary decision maker in their lives. Feelings have become the main factor in deciding things like:
Who should I date? Should I get married? Should we get divorced? Should I make this big purchase? Should I get involved in this project? Should I quit my job? Should I stop serving on this team?
Feelings are not a bad thing; they are part of our wiring as humans. Being completely driven by our feelings is unhealthy – however so is ignoring them. (Click to tweet) Some of us are inclined to put our feelings in the driver seat, while others are more likely to store them in the trunk.
Our goal should be to find a healthy balance somewhere between ignoring our feelings and giving into whatever they want.
Many of us reach a point in our jobs as well as our volunteer roles where if we were honest we would say, “I just don’t enjoy this anymore.” Whether that feeling describes 10%, 50% or 99% of your role you have to figure out how to deal with those feelings.
Now I cannot tell you what you should do. That feeling could be the Spirit of God prompting you to make a change. It could also be bad pizza from the night before.
While I am not sure what is informing your feelings, here are 4 questions to ask yourself when these feelings of discontent rise up:
- Did I choose this or did God place me in it?
- Has something changed around me or in me?
- Am I closer to or farther from the person I desire to be?
- Is this seasonal or is this a new norm?
Hopefully the answer to those questions helps provide a little insight or guidance as you decide what to do next.