In a team dynamic it is almost impossible to avoid relational breakdowns. In good times spirits stay high, as flexibility and forgiveness are easy to come by. However under stress we have a tendency to push pressure, blame and frustration towards those who serve alongside us.
My friend Jimmy has a phrase he loves to deliver when processing breakdowns; “Protect the Relationship.” You see Jimmy knows that relationships are the foundation for success on our teams. When relationships fail it becomes impossible to accomplish anything meaningful with your team.
To protect the relationships around you, here are 4 things to do when breakdowns happen:
- Trust Their Intentions – If you look for drama around every corner you are likely to find it, but you are also likely the one creating it. Protect the relationships around you by assuming the best in people and trusting that their intentions are good. (click to tweet) It is easy to vilify someone and assume they are attempting to cause problems, but most of the time the intentions of those around you are good.
- Know the difference between sliding and jumping – Over time each of us can subtly slide out of alignment. It happens behind the scenes and is an easy adjustment to correct. There is a big difference between sliding out of alignment and jumping ship. Jumping ship is when you have intentionally decided you no are no longer content in your current role. Know the difference between sliding and jumping. Treat people like they want to be on the team until they tell you differently
- Solve it With Them – You do not solve relational breakdowns in a hole. If there is an issue relationally, it must be solved relationally. Do not solve the problem for them – but walk with them through the process of addressing the problem.
- Remember Everyone Wants to Win – It is amazing what happens when you consider a person’s end game. Everyone wants to be on a winning team (click to tweet), so solving relational breakdowns is a way of helping individuals and the team get closer to a win. People want to win, and fixing breakdowns is easier when you know that each of us want the same thing.
Cory Lebovitz 
Pastor, Your counsel to “Protect the relationships around you by assuming the best in people and trusting that their intentions are good.” is so true. I have found that assuming people’s intentions are good, or at least not ill intended, is a good way to protect my own heart from bitterness and have the peace of God and favor with people in some trying situations.
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Pastor Cory, I was just settling in to a time before the throne, asking for counsel from the LORD on an issue with a Dear One. I was drawn to a reply you sent to me inviting me to your blog on the Relational Resolutions. Thank you. Not only was your blog timely and well written, it was a tailor made win-win. You were His Voice in a Time of Trouble. Thank you Deeply Pastor Cory.
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Thank you so much, Pastor! I’ve always pushed the importance of strong, honest relationships both at home, and to the children I worked with when I managed a juvenile treatment program before my accident. So much can be accomplished through relationships! People sometimes fail to realize how much extra work they can circumvent through trust and faith in others! Your article has helped reinforce the beliefs I hold dear, and is God’s subtle way of telling me to stay the course! Thank you again for your wisdom and counsel, Pastor! I’m glad we’ve become friends on Twitter!!! God bless you, my friend!!!
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Very true and helpful even in a family situation.
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its so true and thoughtful that communication is the key
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Wow! What great advice! Thanks for posting.
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Great points to remember and pass along!
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